Archive for 2014

Home Archive for 2014

Hello chickadees! It's been so long since I've been able to do a solid update. Thank you to everyone who has been adding me on bloglovin or responding to my video post. I couldn't have picked a busier time to really get my blog rolling but eh, c'est la vie! I am excited to have several posts lined up and really excited to tell you about an experience I had last night. So mysterious, right?

I Haven't Been So Kind To Me Lately

Well, let me first start by saying that loving myself has not been easy lately. I've been really down on myself for all of the weight gain since I had my lap-band removal surgery. I've sort of been going along happily not worrying that I'm going to gain weight because "I know better". And it's been a whirlwind of shame, guilt and occasional "I'm sorry I'm not pretty" comments to my husband who immediately requests that I stop thinking that way. If only I could see me the way he does.

I think part of the downside to being so immersed in the alternative health community is being surrounded by perfectionism. Its sort of inevitable... I'm the only fat one in the room at the holistic health seminars held at my chiropractors office. Sometimes it feels like in order to live the lifestyle that I want I have to look a certain way or dress a certain way and really adjust who I am to them. Curvy Yoga was a huge wake up call last night.

Try Something New? Why Not?

I went thinking I'd just try another form of yoga and I left remembering that its ok to do what works best for me. For once I didn't have to do my best to keep up. I didn't have to spend several breaths trying to adjust my fat to move into a pose. I didn't have to wonder if I was doing the pose right since I just couldn't reach that far. I remembered that it's ok to be me, exactly how I am.

A couple of months ago I committed myself to a Bikram yoga practice that really threw things off for me. I learned a ton, I did yoga every single day for 30 days (yes seriously) and if you know anything about Bikram you know that its the hottest, longest, unforgiving yoga there is. Keyword: unforgiving. There was no room for mistakes and after 30 days I had some lower back issues that were shouting for some attention.

My Body Isn't A Problem That Needs to Be Fixed

When I talked to my instructors, I kept hearing, "engage your core" but no one could really explain what that meant. I was also starting to get frustrated at the lack of adjustments allowed by the practice (using equipment or a mat) when I needed some help to work into a pose. I walked away from that angry and resentful of yoga. Also, misunderstood with everyone telling me to just relax. I didn't want to relax, I was so mad that I felt excluded by something else. I do want to add that none of this was intentional and the instructors were all really kind. There's just sort of an exclusion of certain body types that no one wants to look at it. And my weight was again treated like a problem that needed fixing rather than adjusting to how I am now.

Curvy Yoga To The Rescue

Curvy Yoga has come to Nashville. Facilitated by Anna Guest-Jelley, a forward-thinking writer, lifelong champion for women’s empowerment & body acceptance & curvy yoga instructor who saw ta need. The studio officially opened in September of 2014 and boasts a really friendly studio space with a kitchen, beautiful architecture & a friendly area to check in, get props and get ready for a luxurious session of yoga that feels incredible. It's gentle, kind, exhilarating and meets you right where you are. It was a huge reminder of what it means to exercise and all of the benefits that everyone keeps telling me about.

Studio Tour from Curvy Yoga on Vimeo.

Finally, a place where my curves were not only accepted, but embraced lovingly. Reminding me that I am not broken and that a little bit of kindness goes a really long way.

We All Deserve to Be Treated Well

Now, this isn't really a health blog as I've said before. But something that continues to spark my interest is the way that people are starting to open up to the idea that the concept of perfection or idealism has gotten us into a lot of trouble. The way we see ourselves directly contributes to the way we treat ourselves and we we deserve to be treated well no matter where we're at on our journey.

I love curvy yoga. We are coincidentally moving about 10 minutes away from the new studio & I can't wait for my next class. Most people talk about how bad things have gotten in our world or how life is worse than ever but I think the opposite. I think change is coming, a revolution is happening and people are opening up to new ideas about happiness. Curvy Yoga is proof of progress and I am so happy I found it.

Mabel~ Colette Patterns~ Finished Skirt

Happy Friday chickadees! I am so happy to see the weekend and to spend time nuzzled up with my little family during the inevitable cold snap that'll be hovering over Nashville the next couple of days. I have some really fun stuff to show you! I finished a couple of skirts and I wanted to give you a rundown of how they came together. I've been working on Mabel by Colette Patterns.

A super-simple, over the weekend (if not one evening) skirt made from knit material. It was fast, easy and great practice with knit fabric (which I am slowly falling in love with). Colette Patterns are kind enough to start including plus sizes in their patterns and this skirt truly is one of the most true to size things I've ever sewn (for my body). Knits are so forgiving and I totally re-learned this lesson with this skirt. Lol, seriously, keep reading...

Mabel~ Colette Patterns~ Finished Skirt (Butt)

See this skirt? This is NOT what it looked like when I was finished. I read the measurements and I noticed that the waist measurements were about 6" shorter than my measurements required. Even at the largest size (3x). Sigh. Whatever, I thought this might be a perfect time to practice my slash and spread method just at the waist since the hips should fit perfectly. Boy, this couldn't have been more wrong.

The finished product was HUGE! Way huge. I was going to show a picture of me wearing it but I seriously couldn't keep it on without holding it up with both hands. I took the sides in 6" (3" on each side) and it fit. I still think it might be a little big though. The material I used was not the solid knit that it should've been. I used a buttery soft, floppy knit that holds it's shape but stretches a little more than necessary. Lesson learned! Should've listened to the suggestion on the pattern. Ah, well. It's still cute!

Wanna see my pretty/useless adjustment?

I really love my little Mabel mini. I'm not going to be able to pass a gorgeous knit at the fabric store without wanting to make it into one of these skirts. Some people complained about the waistband being too thin but I rather like it. I didn't end up using the twin needles to hem the bottom but I do want to figure out a little bit prettier of a stitch for the hem. I'm going to look into it.

Mabel~ Colette Patterns~ Finished Skirt (hey, sailor!)

My friend Lauren (aka Lladybird) has me thinking about getting a serger and this skirt REALLY had me obsessing over the idea. Part 2 is version 3, the pencil skirt with the awesome faux pleat. I could not be happier about how it turned out!

End review: kick-ass, instant gratification skirt that will TOTALLY fit. It's forgiving, flattering and awesome. Stay tuned for part 2 (the pencil skirt to rule all pencil skirts)

Image by Ash Kiel

This is not really a health blog. It is, however, a place for me to update and archive what's on my mind and this is a very important topic to me. In 2013 an ultrasound confirmed cysts all over my ovaries. This pesky little nuisance began with puberty and I truly noticed it while I was a sophomore in high school. Beginning with dark hair showing up on my chin and eventually resulting in massive weight gain around my middle section, excessive body hair everywhere, constant depression, fatigue & an insatiable craving for bread and sugar to the likes of which were not known to mankind.

Of course, back then, my parents thought I had A.D.D. and/or was only depressed. It's been devastating and my life has been massively impacted by this syndrome. I was treated horribly by my peers, misunderstood by my parents, completely ignored by doctors (and boys) and so lost for a lot of my life, hating my body and exposing it to what I believed it deserved: abuse.

PCOS is something only women can be diagnosed with because its poly (multiple) cystic (cysts) ovarian (on/of the ovaries) syndrome (the collection of signs and symptoms that are observed in, and characteristic of, a single condition). What's really hard is the syndrome part. It's really a group of symptoms leading to the causation of cysts forming on the ovaries. Resulting in more symptoms.

Some women have an impossible time conceiving a child, some women rarely (or never) get their periods (me) which might sound like a blessing but a woman's body is meant to shed its inner uterine lining once a month. I don't care how bad your cramps are, not getting your period can be disastrous to your hormonal health and therefore the rest of your body. Some women grow thick, dark hair all over their bodies in places some men don't even have it. Some women's hair thins on their heads. And so much more. It's considered a syndrome and it's totally misunderstood, misdiagnosed and mistreated by most medical professionals.

The root cause of PCOS is insulin resistance.
What’s insulin resistance?
Well, when you eat and break down your food, you break it down into glucose which then enters your bloodstream (we tend to know this as “blood sugar”). Glucose needs to then move into your body’s cells so that they can use the glucose as energy. This process requires the hormone insulin, which is secreted by the pancreas in the correct amount to carry out the task.
However, most of us in the modern world are sending ourselves on blood sugar rollercoasters every day by feeding ourselves excess carbohydrates and sugars, which then results in the body pumping out tons of excess insulin to control the swing.
Eventually (because your you aren’t eating the right foods, or you’re genetically predisposed to it as is probably the case with women with PCOS) your cells become ‘resistant’ to the insulin because there tends to be so much circulating all the time. Once they become resistant to the insulin, the glucose begins to ‘bounce off’ the cells instead of going inside to be burned for energy. - Tracy Raftl of The Love Vitamin

When I finally put a name to what was wrong with me it was devastating. Our amazing lactation specialist was over at our home 2 days after I'd given birth to my little mermaid. I was not producing breast milk and we couldn't figure out why. After explaining everything I was going through she asked me a series of questions and nodded, saying "dude, its obvious, you have PCOS". A couple of weeks later I had an ultrasound done to confirm it and she was right. I couldn't believe it, it was a massive mystery solved. I needed some time to absorb what this meant for me and just feel the frustration and anger that comes along with realizing it wasn't my fault, I didn't know, no one did. The big question became how it's been impacting my life all of these years and what I can do to control it.

I've had my nose to the metaphorical grindstone for almost two years and learned very quickly that there are a lot of routes. Most information I've gathered has taught me that my only option is pharmaceutical. In listening to my instincts, I just knew that masking symptoms was never the answer. I dug deeper.

It can only be controlled by specific lifestyle changes: a natural (non processed or injected) diet, specific exercise targeted at metabolism and insulin, minimizing stressors (total opposite of standard american life), herbs and a whole new perspective on loving myself.

The very first step for me was quitting sugar (3 weeks ago):

After 1 week, here's what's changed:

I got my period. Yep, it was 3 months late and it showed up on day 4.
I don't need 30-45 minutes to get myself out of bed in the morning.
I don't feel hungover until noon.
My focus levels are much better and I'm finding the time and energy for things that felt impossible a week ago.
I'm being nicer to myself, not so irritable.
I'm looking forward to movement even if its just walking upstairs from the car.
I can see the cookies and organic peanut butter cup and not buy it.
I'm craving healthier foods like arugula & kombucha.
My eyes are brighter.
My skin looks much better, especially my chin.

All of that, after only one week with one real change.

Paired with that I've been reading Mark Sisson's book: The Primal Blueprint all about a paleo lifestyle. And a couple of days ago I stumbled across a blog that I absolutely love called The Love Vitamin and there was a very informative blog post on PCOS with a lot of excellent resources including PCOS unlocked: an in depth guide to PCOS that covers EVERYTHING you could possibly want to know about PCOS and how to combat it naturally with diet and lifestyle. It’s written by Stefani Ruper who has suffered with PCOS and the accompanying severe acne her whole life and has really done a seriously amazing job with this ebook (and reversing her PCOS!).

*side note: I don't want to minimize anyone's process, I've been through a lot, I totally get it. I'm also absolutely thrilled that things are coming together and I'm already seeing results.

I Haven't Been So Kind To Me Lately

Try Something New? Why Not?

My Body Isn't A Problem That Needs to Be Fixed

Curvy Yoga To The Rescue

We All Deserve to Be Treated Well

Further Reading on PCOS

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