Curvy Yoga

Hello chickadees! It's been so long since I've been able to do a solid update. Thank you to everyone who has been adding me on bloglovin or responding to my video post. I couldn't have picked a busier time to really get my blog rolling but eh, c'est la vie! I am excited to have several posts lined up and really excited to tell you about an experience I had last night. So mysterious, right?

Well, let me first start by saying that loving myself has not been easy lately. I've been really down on myself for all of the weight gain since I had my lap-band removal surgery. I've sort of been going along happily not worrying that I'm going to gain weight because "I know better". And it's been a whirlwind of shame, guilt and occasional "I'm sorry I'm not pretty" comments to my husband who immediately requests that I stop thinking that way. If only I could see me the way he does. 

I think part of the downside to being so immersed in the alternative health community is being surrounded by perfectionism. Its sort of inevitable... I'm the only fat one in the room at the holistic health seminars held at my chiropractors office. Sometimes it feels like in order to live the lifestyle that I want I have to look a certain way or dress a certain way and really adjust who I am to them. Curvy Yoga was a huge wake up call last night. 

I went thinking I'd just try another form of yoga and I left remembering that its ok to do what works best for me. For once I didn't have to do my best to keep up. I didn't have to spend several breaths trying to adjust my fat to move into a pose. I didn't have to wonder if I was doing the pose right since I just couldn't reach that far. I remembered that it's ok to be me, exactly how I am. 

A couple of months ago I committed myself to a Bikram yoga practice that really threw things off for me. I learned a ton, I did yoga every single day for 30 days (yes seriously) and if you know anything about Bikram you know that its the hottest, longest, unforgiving yoga there is. Keyword: unforgiving. There was no room for mistakes and after 30 days I had some lower back issues that were shouting for some attention. 

When I talked to my instructors, I kept hearing, "engage your core" but no one could really explain what that meant. I was also starting to get frustrated at the lack of adjustments allowed by the practice (using equipment or a mat) when I needed some help to work into a pose. I walked away from that angry and resentful of yoga. Also, misunderstood with everyone telling me to just relax. I didn't want to relax, I was so mad that I felt excluded by something else. I do want to add that none of this was intentional and the instructors were all really kind. There's just sort of an exclusion of certain body types that no one wants to look at it. And my weight was again treated like a problem that needed fixing rather than adjusting to how I am now.

Curvy Yoga has come to Nashville. Facilitated by Anna Guest-Jelley, a forward-thinking writer, lifelong champion for women’s empowerment & body acceptance & curvy yoga instructor who saw ta need. The studio officially opened in September of 2014 and boasts a really friendly studio space with a kitchen, beautiful architecture & a friendly area to check in, get props and get ready for a luxurious session of yoga that feels incredible. It's gentle, kind, exhilarating and meets you right where you are. It was a huge reminder of what it means to exercise and all of the benefits that everyone keeps telling me about. 

Finally, a place where my curves were not only accepted, but embraced lovingly. Reminding me that I am not broken and that a little bit of kindness goes a really long way. 

Now, this isn't really a health blog as I've said before. But something that continues to spark my interest is the way that people are starting to open up to the idea that the concept of perfection or idealism has gotten us into a lot of trouble. The way we see ourselves directly contributes to the way we treat ourselves and we we deserve to be treated well no matter where we're at on our journey. 

I love curvy yoga. We are coincidentally moving about 10 minutes away from the new studio & I can't wait for my next class. Most people talk about how bad things have gotten in our world or how life is worse than ever but I think the opposite. I think change is coming, a revolution is happening and people are opening up to new ideas about happiness. Curvy Yoga is proof of progress and I am so happy I found it.